The Source of It.
Most of my conversations and writings in recent times have been about anxiety, frustration, and even leanings toward severe depression. People tend to have a lot going on all at once, and if those things aren’t prioritized properly, the situation can quickly reach a boiling point, at which point it becomes significantly more difficult to handle. My goal is to zero in on the specifics and hone down on the problem, which obviously won’t happen overnight but will happen in due time. In addition, I am not in a position to assert with absolute certainty that I have solutions to all of the problems because problems can take many different shapes. It is worth a shot every once in a while. I just want to make sure that we are on the same page whenever possible.
People see rivers flowing swiftly but if we move toward the source we find out that it is an accumulation of trickles from multiple sources.
Finding the problem’s root cause is almost never easy. If you can find it, there is always a way to make it work past the problems.
In the heat of the moment, it is quite challenging to hunt for the source of the problem since we are so disoriented by the rapids. The sensation of being engulfed, the suffocation, and the misery caused by the rapid is so intense that they have the potential to simply consume you in an instant. These are the moments that put everything to the test, whether it is bravery, patience, any number of other virtues, or even faith itself. To continue composing while chaos reigns around you requires nothing less than surviving an apocalyptic event.
However, I would like to bring to your attention the fact that you have fought numerous battles over the course of your life; in point of fact, the majority of us tend to take things for granted when the rapids have subsided.
You might be questioning where you are considering the circumstances that you are now in, which include feeling lost and having no one to lend you a helping hand. Given the countless titles that have been gained by people all around, the question that arises is: what have I personally accomplished? What have I accomplished that I can look back on with pride? You will only feel like less of an individual if you continually compare and contrast yourself with those around you. I had been experiencing this identical sensation for the whole of my life up until that point. Not even the most difficult mathematical problem presented a challenge for me, but comparing my life to that of others was difficult. It was a true yearning, a craving that was worth dying for, to enjoy life as if no one else existed.
How can you relate your troubles and how can you relate them as a one-point where all trouble ends?
Permit me to bring to your attention the experience that you have already had in your life and have prevailed through. In the event that this particular aspect does not apply to you, you may always compare them to other situations that you have had in your life. Although the example is not the only factor to consider, I think you understand my point.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE SWIMMING.
We discussed rivers and rapids, but if you don’t know how to swim, navigating either of those environments will be quite challenging. Although you might experience a similar sensation the first time you tried to ride a bicycle, I think I’ll just stay with swimming for the time being.
You should remember that the first time you went to the swimming pool, it was nerve-wracking to even put your toe in the water, but you walked inside nonetheless. If you learned how to swim when you were a baby, the memory may not affect you as strongly as it otherwise might; still, credit to your memory if you are able to recall it. When I was in my twenties, learning how to swim was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done.
When I got into the water, a friend of mine was there to support me, and I quickly realized how important that was. Being without support was a disaster in and of itself. Being submerged in water while choking to death with nothing to grab onto made the situation more horrifying. The most extreme anxiety was associated with the persistent worry of drinking water and progressing toward darkness. The sensation lingered for much too long, especially considering that I could only learn to glide like a torpedo with a single breath.
But you can’t learn to swim without drinking water and conquering all those dark fears.
Now that I’m in my thirties, I can say that I’ve conquered my fear to a certain extent. One year has passed since the last time I went swimming with a friend or brother who encouraged me to participate in the activity together. He had no prior swimming experience at all, so it was up to me to teach him how to swim. Dhuuh!! Nevertheless, we overcame the challenge together. There are a few maneuvers that we have not mastered just yet, but we will get there in due time; we are not planning to rush into the rapids anyhow. The main point is as follows:
UNTIL AND UNLESS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WATER, YOU WILL NEVER LEARN TO SWIM.
Concerning the challenges you face in life, they can be boiled down to a simple case of persistent anxiety about venturing into an unfamiliar area. It is difficult to consume fear and then spit it out because, when it does arrive, you will become numb, as lifeless as a doorknob, and unable to think about anything other than the fear. Things, scenarios, and conditions would show up in a variety of guises. It did strike a likeness of a type; a pattern of a sort, within all of those fears that were present. That being said,
It starts as an impossible thing to do, with tries you get understanding of the thing; a Ahh-ha moments, then it becomes a bit easier. With much tries it becomes an integral part of you and but the problem is, you now take the learning for granted.
Everything is impossible for the first time since it is uncharted territory. Be it swimming, bike riding, horse riding, chess, guitar, new language, programming language; whatever it may be.
Many students are afraid of studying, and they should be because reading anything completely new for the first time in your life is comparable to the feeling of suffocation you experience when you enter a swimming pool for the first time.
Everything, literally, everything at the beginning is always overwhelming.
The pattern is the same no matter where you are or what expertise you have. Having this mentality will allow you to improve in any area. You can practically learn to try anything if you put your mind to it. Even though there will always be some things that you appreciate more than others, you can still learn to do so.
Getting good from worst, better from good, best from the better is a process. For a person to be good at something, one has to be comfortable with being the worst.
Skill and emotions, people differentiate the process but nowadays I see them too in the form of processes of the same nature. The one going through the emotional turmoil is similar to the, you remember? Yup, suffocation in the swimming pool. The overpowering emotional bombardment can be too severe, but if you grasp the process as it was described earlier, you will realize that it, too, is a repetition.
Does it not occur to you that rivers would become flooded during the rainy season? But does it remain flooded during the entire year?
Now, you can say that “You don’t know what I am going through.” Well, I certainly wouldn’t know what you are going through for I am trying to manage myself here. But in the meantime, if you understand your own process; you’d understand that your process and mine are not so different. After all, we found the same thing while learning how to ride a bicycle; which was,
Balance.
Please delve deeper into yourself, as my words and you, my friend, falling into my words will only lead to the imagination. You are the only story that can be told about you, and when you get in touch with the source of your story, you will also know;
LIFE ITSELF IS A PROCESS.
Wishing you a wonderful stay while you stay.
Cheers.
FOOTNOTE
And if you want to read more of my random thoughts you can check:
Perspectives 360⁰
Awaiting For A Savior
Passion Hunt, Haunted
Supplementary Vibes, or?
Attention Span
If want to know me more, do check out all my writing which can be found here:
Everything I had ever written on medium.com
